I haven't heard from my penpal recently. What happened?

As you continue writing your pen pal, you may sometimes find that she does not write you back for a while, even though you did not write anything that offends her. However, if you are just waiting for a while, she will usually write you back again. In most cases, she did not write you back for a while just because she was busy - perhaps she had an exam. Or perhaps she was on a business trip.

There is another possible reason, especially if you write snail mails; either your or your penpal’s letter has been lost or stolen along the way. I once experienced this, and when I sent an email and asked if she’s got my letter, she said no. I sent her another letter and we still continue writing, but our correspondence could have been stopped if we hadn’t known the truth!

If you have not been hearing back from your pen pal for quite a while and you are concerned about if she is doing okay, then you can write her to ask if she has received your mail/letter, how she has been doing and that you care your friend. However, hurrying up your pen pal, especially repeatedly, is not a good idea. If you force you pen pal to write you back ASAP, it could harm your friendship that would not otherwise.

When writing to someone who has not replying you for a long time, it is a better idea to use e-mails, even if you are normally exchanging snail mails, because this avoids the case of confusion; what would you do if you write to your pen pal how he has been doing and he also writes you back at the same time? Who starts writing next? To prepare for a rainy day, I would recommend exchanging your e-mail addresses with your snail mail pals if you already haven’t. However, if you or your pen pal does not have access to e-mail, you can also send such a message via air mail. Such a message is best when it’s on a postcard (because the writing space is small), and you can say something like “If I receive your letter before you read this, I’ll write you back again” to avoid confusion.

Now I introduce a good example and a counterexample of an I-care-you letter, both based on real messages that I received to date. First, here is an example that you could write in a similar way:

Hi, I have not been hearing back from you recently, so I was wondering if you have received my letter. If you are busy and unable to write letters now, that’s okay, I understand. You don’t have to hurry to write me, so just concentrate on what you have to do now. I am looking forward to hearing from you again when you have time.

And here is a counterexample (Yes, I actually got this kind of message!):

I haven’t got your mail yet. Did you forget me? You don’t know how much I am waiting to hear from you. Please write me as soon as possible, okay?

By the way, if your pen pal does not write to you because you really offended your pen pal and you know that, simply apologize for that and that you did not mean to hurt him. If the friendship still can’t be fixed, well, I can’t say anything about it, because it’s just like the way normal friendship works…